Second childhood. Or: Time capsule for my inner child

24 years young.
They ask me how I am and I answer: “I am but 24 years young.”
Living out my second childhood with the inner child
who is unlearning all the unhealthy coping mechanisms and internalized toxic behaviours
from my first childhood,
and learning to exist imperfectly,
living for the little things in life:
the went-sledding-and-laughter-rumbled-from-my-belly-button-to-the-tip-of-my-toes-and-then-all-the-way-up-to-my-crow’s-feet-when-I-fell-off-the-sled moments;
the it’s-foggy-outside-and-the-roads-are-empty-so-we-can-take-eerie-photos-in-the-middle-of-the-road-and-not-worry-about-passing-cars moments;
the watched-grandpa-fill-seltzer-bottles-with-soda-in-his-now-closed-soda-shop moments;
the it’s-the-last-day-of-2021-and-the-bright-blue-sky-is-ablaze-with-pink-orange-and-yellow-cotton-candy-clouds-so-let’s-climb-up-the-ladder-near-our-grandparents’-attic-where-they-used-to-store-hay-when-we-were-kids-to-get-a-better-view moments;
the went-for-a-walk-in-the-forest-the-day-after-New-Year’s-Eve-and-took-a-photo-of-Maya’s-cute-paw-prints-in-the-snow moments;
the had-a-spontaneous-snowball-fight-like-there’s-no-tomorrow-and-ended-up-with-bruised-butts-shins-and-knees-but-I’ve-never-felt-so-alive-in-years moments;
the let’s-tease-each-other-and-laugh-wholeheartedly-in-grandma’s-dimly-lit-room-while-she-knits-us-jumpers-and-hums-her-favourite-songs moments.

So when they ask me how I am, I answer:
I am 24 years young.
And not a day too old.

– Patricia


Childhood Home and Summer Nights

I hear the crickets chirp and I
Know that I’m home again.
Cycling on peaceful hills—so green—
I remember who I am.

I feel the moment—future, past
Don’t cross my mind at all.
I live in the now, so free and calm,
Nature—so beautiful.

The bright full moon governs the night,
Shining so close to me
Against the darkness of the sky;
I thus now feel at ease.

The scent of freshly scythed grass
Gives me forgotten peace
And I can feel that once again
I’ve known eternal bliss.

The night—so quiet and so warm—
Promises freedom, dance.
I had forgotten what was home
And now I have returned.

I feel alive and know myself,
Here on the peaceful hills.
This is the world I’ve always loved,
The world of real dreams.

– Patricia

Return to Childhood

A mighty castle far away,
With hidden creatures made of clay,
That magic land of fairytales:
I want that kind of story.

With evil dragons spreading fear,
Princesses that have disappeared
And daring knights whom all hold dear:
That kind of great adventure.

With magic forests, fairy dust,
And evil witches you can’t trust,
Their piercing eyes and haunting laughs,
Who soon will be defeated.

With treasures, elves and leprechauns,
Enchanted flowers, short turmoil,
Triumphant heroes on and on
And challenges awaiting.

With good and evil, day and night,
Heroes and villains who would fight
And happy ending—my delight:
Just white and black and no grey.

Stories in which the good prevails,
With happiness that never fades,
With victories, glorious days,
With innocence and pure heart.

Stories with dreams that come to life,
With never-ending, sweet delight,
In which future and hope unite:
Return to happily ever after.

– Patricia