Subject: WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE ALL IN SHAMBLES
Petition to plain Jane over there with the wounded inner child
To whom it may concern,
(you know very well who you are)
It has unfashionably late come to my attention
That the precarious conditions in which plain Jane’s inner child has grown
Are, simply put, outrageous.
23 years of
feelings of personal inadequacy
with no ounce of self-compassion
while your inner child cowers away in the least tainted corner of your mind,
suffering through your self-victimization episodes
—no matter how seemingly valid—
have been more than enough.
I, the undersigned,
therefore request immediate measures be taken
to ensure the safety of the aforementioned child.
Should necessary measures fail to be immediately implemented,
I reserve the right to file a complaint with the child protective services.
Get yourself together already before you turn into a Jane Doe
Plain and simple